虚妄症。偏执症。无可救药的某人= =

2008/08/13 21:59
a. english testing ~
last week i went to ktv with my ex-classmates, jane sang MY EVERYTHING, and i asked her which band it was, she said she didnt know but it was the song that DONGHAE sang for his father at the concert, jane said DONGHAE said A PA SA LANG HEI in the end.
at the moment i was really moved. i almost know about what has happened to DONGHAE and his father. all the things, as well as peole, that are able to make these strong boys cry should also be respected i think.

coming back home, i managed to search for the wave of live on tudou.com and listened to it for several times. DONGHAE said SA LANG HEI, but i didnt hear the word: A PA.
i was disappointed. just for no reason囧

i found that i am always facing such situation just like:once i was really beliveing in sth but finally it was said that what i had believed in was just a joke or a mistake.
i know it cant be linked to DONGHAEs song, but it made me think of it.

i am a stupid guy, that trust everybody around me. but the world is always noticing me that i was wrong.

b. 最近看文看多了= =,好虐啊,虐得我对源范的爱都快没有了。

我很想骂人看到后来,其实每一次看到没有营养的东西我都会有杀人的冲动,不怪我。 以前在AVI的时候虽然写手不多,但是每一个发文的孩子都有漂亮精致的文笔和故事,虽然看文的人也不多囧,但大家在一起还是很HIGH的。

因为彼此欣赏,所以在一起才能长久。单方面不行。

对的,我素来喜欢强大而有才华的人,我宁愿把自己放低到一个纯fan的高度去仰望因为那样也会让我很感动。

之前很长一段时间我只遇到过一个让我如此感动的人,那就是花生SAMA,我喜欢她的文字还有故事,安静的清甜的,有城市的味道,而且文笔好,用词生动而精彩,很大程度上影响了我的行文风格,哈哈。

哎,这么说只是为了表达怨念而已。

我从王道小说站打包了一大堆文下来看,文笔好的少,几乎没有= =,他妈的,我太不爽了。除了影彻的石头花,其他的,算了我就不说什么了,故事好的....娘的,黑道黑道,好多黑道啊..这让我不禁想起了西西踢维八的意难忘,OJZ。 只是肥皂剧肥皂得甜的话我还是能忍的,虐得话就真正忍无可忍了,其实我很想不通那些HM= =,如果真的很疼爱的话为什么要虐呢。我根本舍不得让相爱的人分开,也根本舍不得让他们痛苦。我写文是因为我对他们的热爱,我对他们的热爱不允许我肆意地去虐,因为我知道疼痛哀伤,我希望他们幸福,不管现实生活如何,至少在我的世界中能幸福。

册那。

我这人对文是会偏执的,对人也是有偏执的。

就比如看文要么文笔好要么故事好,如果找不到让我心水的写手我对CP的爱绝对是会磨光的,至于对人也是这样,之前说过,要有强大的内心力量。

皮相好的男人多了去了,可我就萌上了SJ= =,为毛?我也说过,我欣赏他们的内心力量,我崇拜能够为了梦想不惜一切的人,比如抛弃一切只身一人离开家乡出去闯荡的韩庚希澈东海,比如为了梦想敢于和父母抗衡的始源,他们每一个人都让我肃然起敬,

是的,肃然起敬。

之前喜欢过的付辛博也是这样,虽然只有二十出头,却有着男人的担当和责任。

还有笔笔,为了唱歌的梦想摈弃商业,永远都是安安静静的样子,这样的她,让人心疼,让人不得不爱。

还有我曾经萌到死的袁朗大人,那样一个无坚不摧的男人,那是我所想的样子,神的样子。


我所喜欢的人,可以不是很漂亮,但却一定要让我肃然起敬。

事实上我对朋友的想法亦是这样,只是世界很少将选择权交予我的手上,不是么。真遗憾。


今天的碎碎念就到这里。囧



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